In my personal experience, Junior High through young adulthood was rough! I might even go as far to say this duration was equivalent to Hell or at least that was my perception at the time. This period of time can be a little more difficult for some than others, especially when predisposed to be or if conditioned to be overly worrisome and critical of yourself. For me, this was a time I really questioned who I was as a person, which I now know was absolutely normal and necessary. Because if I wouldn’t have questioned myself, I would not have grown and pushed myself to become better, stronger.
The most important advice I can give to young people is this. This time and these feelings are temporary. Junior High and High School may seem like an eternity, but they will be over and nothing that happened, for the most part, will matter much after graduation. When you mess up, and you will, forgive yourself. Do not worry too much about what others think they know about you. Others will be convinced they know you and your life, but the truth is no one knows you or your journey. In fact, you may not fully understand it yourself. Until then, you are suppose to be on this path of self-discovery, and it does get messy at times. But you can overcome whatever you have or will go through. You can recover from your past if you allow yourself to do so. You are the only one who is in control of your own happiness. You. You can make the decision to remain there idle, or you can choose to move on and overcome. You have to keep moving forward despite what anyone, including yourself, may think they know to be true. You may think you want to be free from all adults or authority who are trying to lead or steer you down a certain path. But you my child are wrong. The truth is, you need adult direction more than you think. Your parents gave you life, so they above anyone else should love and protect you as the special gift you are. They have lived and made their own mistakes, so they are obligated to try and guide you safely in, what they feel is, the right direction. Try and hear what they are saying. I wish I would have listened without having to learn so many lessons the hard way. Take advice from others, just do not live anyone’s else’s life. Live your own. Stay away from harmful things that alter your decisions. For your life is complicated enough without adding mind-altering substances to create more feelings of confusion about life and/or guilt or regret about choices made under the influence.
Or maybe you are on the opposite side of the spectrum than I was. Maybe you are strong in your convictions and have stayed, for the most part, on the straight and narrow. Good for you! Stay there! However, do give yourself permission to have a little fun, and get into a little trouble now and again. Not too much, but a little. Just remember that you do not have to give in. You do not have to do anything you do not want to do or that you do not believe is right to “fit in.” Standing up for or against someone to maintain or defend your beliefs is the most honorable way to define your character, to define yourself. Besides what is “fitting in?” And who decides who makes the cut?
If these years were or are difficult, then know that life can and will get better. Try and live to be kind and good to one another while staying positive and being true to oneself. You will be amazed in how good you will feel about yourself and the person you are when you get lost in helping others. Helping people, especially people who cannot repay you, can provide you with a feeling of true peace and understanding of one’s self if you are open and willing to receive the gift. Try your best to enjoy all of your years, even those that seem dreadful because you are alive and you should be living. And so, “here comes the sun little darling.” The Beatles
I have made a list of books/movies (some books turned movies) to help you laugh, cry, learn, and deal with the mess of self-discovery. I hope you find these as beneficial, inspiring, and heart-warming as I have.
Into the Wild, John Krakauer (Film directed by Sean Penn) Rated R
Girl, Interrupted, Susanna Kaysen (Film directed by James Mangold) Rated R
The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum (Film directed by Norman Taurog, King Vidor, Victor Fleming, Mervyn LeRoy, and George Cukor) Rated PG
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (Film directed by Lasse Hallström) Rated PG-13
Can’t Buy Me Love (Film directed by Steve Rash) Rated PG-13
Finding Neverland (Film directed by Marc Forster) Rated PG
Inventing the Abbotts (Film directed by Pat O’Conner) Rated R
Big Fish (Film directed by Tim Burton) Rated PG-13
Big (Film directed by Penny Marshall) Rated PG
The Goonies (Film directed by Richard Donner) Rated PG
The Sandlot (Film directed by David M. Evans) Rated PG
Little Monsters (Film directed by Richard Greenberg) Rated PG
Now and Then (Film directed by Lesli Linka Glatter) Rated PG-13
“We cannot teach people anything, we can only help them discover it within themselves.” Galileo Galilei
Ashlei Humpert
write like a girl 